


Bouncy Balls are NOT Kinky

by Casisnotonfire



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Complete crack, Crack, Crayons, Friend challenged me to write this, I Don't Even Know, Kinky Shizuo, M/M, bouncy balls, cinnamon candle, forgive me lord for i have sinned, hoop earrings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-13
Updated: 2017-03-13
Packaged: 2018-10-04 09:42:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10273985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Casisnotonfire/pseuds/Casisnotonfire
Summary: Shizuo and Izaya have come to the conclusion that their sex life has become dull. When the blond suggests spicing things up, Izaya foolishly decides to give him a chance.(Based off of my friend challenging me that I couldn't write a Shizaya fic which contained bouncy balls, crayons, hoop earrings, and a cinnamon scented candle. Blame her)





	

**Author's Note:**

> This complete trash fic came to be because of a friend challenging me to write an obnoxious story about Shizaya involving certain items. As someone who doesn't turn down a challenge, I have created this story. 
> 
> Forgive me.

“When you said you had some weird kinks, Shizu-chan, I didn’t know they were  _ this  _ weird.” Izaya stared at everything in front of him with wide eyes.

 

“You’re changing your mind? And here I thought the great Orihara Izaya could handle anything.” Shizuo shot back, his honey brown eyes glinting.

 

The two had decided that their sex life was becoming dull and wanted to spice it up somehow. When the blond said he had an idea….Izaya foolishly trusted him to pick out something  _ remotely  _ sexy.

 

Looking at the variety of bouncy balls covering the floor beside their bed and a stack of crayola markers on their night table, Izaya wondered how high he had to be to actually think a protozoan could set the mood.

 

Shizuo frowned as he surveyed the room, not finding anything wrong with his ideas. He picked up a cinnamon scented candle and showed it to his lover.

 

“What, you don’t like this?” The debt collector tipped his head in confusion.

 

Izaya just barely stopped himself from face palming.

 

Of  _ course  _ the amoeba would think the freaking candle was the problem.

 

He sighed and laid down on their bed, completely turned off.

 

Who wouldn’t be in a situation like this?

 

Hell, who found crayons and bouncy balls as a turn  _ on _ ? 

 

“What were we going to do with all this junk anyway?” Curiosity getting the better of him, Izaya up at Shizuo with interested eyes.

 

The bodyguard grinned, looking like an excited puppy in his wake.

 

Maybe if he explained then Izaya would want to try it out?

 

“Well, I would cut and small hole into four bouncy balls and then put them over your hands and feet so you couldn’t use them.” He began, smiling happily.

 

Izaya rolled his eyes. 

 

Leave it to Shizuo to use bouncy balls instead of something like rope or cuffs.

 

Staying silent though, the self-proclaimed God allowed his partner to continue.

 

“Then I would melt the crayons and swirl them around your back! You would be like a beautiful painting~” Shizuo sighed dreamily.

 

So the brute liked waxplay...Izaya would have to keep that in mind for later.

 

Growing even more giddy as he saw his boyfriend’s thoughtful expression, Shizuo started speaking again.

 

“Finally, I would pierce your pretty ears with these earrings since you’d look so beautiful with them!” Shizuo grabbed insanely large hoop earrings and showed them to the raven.

 

Izaya froze as he stared at the obviously-meant-for-sluts earrings and glanced back up at the blond who was trembling with excitement.

 

“So, should we start now-”

 

“NO.”

**Author's Note:**

> Slowly getting back into writing Shizaya again... I'll start updating my series soon.   
> I know it's been a long wait but I still am just kind of wary of continuing any of them lol.


End file.
